I have so many little things on my mind I am going nuts. But mostly this whole pregnancy thing is driving me insane. I have NO IDEA if I am or not. With J I had lots of symptoms. This time, I guess since I have been there already and I know too much, I cant tell whats a symptom and whats my mind playing tricks on me. One day Ill totally feel like I am. Dry contacts, peeing all the time, stomach cramps, tired. And the next Ill feel nothing. I have taken a few HPT's and all negative. I know I am crazy because it wouldnt even come up slightly positive till maybe tomorrow. And thats a strong maybe.
I started to temp, but that doesnt help cause your temp goes up until you are a day or on the day your gonna get your period. I checked my past cycles and they have not quite been 28 days like i thought. Some were 31, one was 26. This all drives me crazy. Everytime I pee I think I have wasted an opportunity to pee on a stick. I always reluctantly flush. In the last seconds I think I should go and get a test and dip it in the toilet, for that chance that it could be positive.
What is also making me insane is that I really dont want to be PG this month. It would make me due around April 21. My mom died on the 25th and her birthday was the 29th. Thats creepy to me. I am also dreading the thought of having another Taurus in my life. And if you know me well enough, this is VERY important to me.
Ugh, I wish the test would tell me something or I would get my period already. Just so this waiting game will be other. For this month at least.
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