Here we go again

This past weekend was Rosh Hashaha, however you spell it. Its a 2 day jewish holiday and we do family gatherings. the first night we went to ryans aunt barbara. First of all that was such a pleasure (notice sarcasim) because we had to trek into brooklyn and we had to pick up ryans coousins because they were sleeping over that night. First off, the family is becoming split. everyone seems to hate everyone. Aunt Barabara wouldnt stop ragging on Aunt Amy (where we were going the second night). I just didnt want to hear it because i like Amy. She has helped me through some things and she really is a level headed.

OK, well, onto my story. I walk in and i get my usual greetings from everyone and i couldnt get to harvey (FIL) and Judy comes up to me and does her hug and kiss. Walks away with Jory and thats it. I go into the kitchen where they were playing for awhile and she then gets up and walks out. Whatever. Its a small place so she couldnt avoid me too much. She wouldnt look at me unless she had to or if i was trying to talk to her but the sooner i shut up, it seemed like the better.

I got a perm last weekend and we hadnt seen them since. I thought of all things she would notice my perm. Nope. Nothing. I tried to make it a bit obvious because it would be nice if she did say 'oh, your hair is different' or something. This is ways to spark conversations. this is ways to be nice to me which it was very obvious that she didnt want to.

Whatever. I was really upset by the end of the night and realized that she will never have a decent relationship with me and I have to see her all the time because of my kid(s).

So the second night at amy's I did my hair real good. I wear it down and it was like smack in your face that i didnt something to it. Everyone says hello the same way and MIL comes up, barely even looks at me, does her hug and sits back down. Amy notices immediately and asks. I show my SIL and she talks about it a bit. But it was just the recognition. The one extra step to make things a little more civil. I couldnt take it and I cried in the garage with Amy. I settled and I talked to ryan that night.

He agrees that she has not made hardly any effort. Yea, a phone call after i send her a pic of jory is not an effort. Its an obligation to her. or maybe her husband told her that she has to call me when i send pics. I dont know. She was nowhere near me all afternoon. For dinner there were 2 tables. Me, Jory and Ryan sat at the fold out table so we wouldnt destroy the good table. Ryan and Jory were sitting and she sits at the table too. I go to sit down and she got up and sat at the other table. I sat at the table for dessert and she was so obvious to make sure she sat on the other side of the table. There was an empty seat next to me and she went and pulled up another on the other side.

Ryan told me some of these. I saw some of them. He told me right away that he sees this and that I have been trying. So tonight he went over to their house with Jory and he is going to talk to her/them. Explain that she isnt making any efforts to be civil to me. That her aditude towards me is going to dictate how often they see Jory because at this point I wont have HER near me without ryan around.

Ill be back with an update.